Navigating Buying a Home as a Couple

Ladies and gents… as many of you already know, Greg and I DID A DAMN THING—we bought a home in Salt Lake City, Utah! For the first time in my life, I actually feel like a grown-up. This was, without a doubt, the biggest decision I’ve ever made, and let me tell you, it was anything but easy.

Most people dream of owning a home—it’s literally part of the "American Dream." While everyone talks about how exciting homeownership is, it’s rare that anyone mentions how overwhelming it can feel, especially when you’re doing it with someone else—even if it’s someone you love. It’s not just a financial decision; it’s an emotional one, too.

For me, buying a house was never really in the plan. I’ve always loved the thrill of the unknown—moving from place to place, chasing new adventures like a true free spirit. Whether it was New York or London, I’d pick up and go without a job or a plan, trusting things would work out. Stability has always felt more terrifying than uncertainty, so committing to buying a home with my partner, spending a significant chunk of my savings and stocks, and settling down in one city wasn’t exactly an easy decision for me.

But my hesitation went deeper than just a fear of losing my sense of freedom. After leaving my job in tech, I spent over a year unemployed. During that time, I made it a priority to cover my share of the rent and bills, even though it drained my savings. Financial independence has always been non-negotiable for me, and that mindset was shaped by a past relationship in my 20s, where leaning on a partner financially didn’t end well. Since then, I’ve been determined to always carry my weight, no matter how tight money might get.

When Greg and I started seriously talking about buying a home, we were coming at it from completely different places. He was financially stable and eager to put down roots. I, on the other hand, was still rebuilding after a tough year, nervous about depleting my savings, and unsure about what settling down would mean for my sense of self.

Reconciling our differences wasn’t easy. It took hard work, honest reflection, and a willingness to tackle the messy stuff. We had some tough conversations about our hopes, dreams, fears—and, of course, money. Thankfully, Greg and I have always been open about our finances, which I believe is something every couple should prioritize.

That transparency is the reason I’m sharing this blog—to offer an inside look at our journey, both as a couple and individuals. I’m diving into the details of why we chose a condo over a house, how we found a place we both loved equally, and the financials behind it all—who contributed what to the down payment, how we worked out the loan, and more.

My hope is that by sharing our experience, it will encourage others to have open, honest conversations with their partner and approach big decisions like this with clarity and confidence. I also want anyone feeling uncertain about homeownership to know they’re not alone. While this may be an exciting step for some, it can feel overwhelming for others. Your feelings are valid.

Alright, longest intro ever—let’s dive in!

Condo vs House

First, I want to explain why we bought a condo instead of a house. When Greg and I started our search, we thought we’d end up in a house—it just seemed like the obvious choice, especially given how charming the homes and neighborhoods in Salt Lake are. But as we toured houses, something began to bug us (and by "us," I mean me): many of the yards were crisscrossed with telephone wires. These overhead utility lines are common in Salt Lake, particularly in older neighborhoods where the infrastructure hasn’t been updated. We had imagined waking up to breathtaking mountain views, not a backdrop of wires cutting through the scenery. With Salt Lake’s stunning natural beauty—snow-capped mountains and a vibrant city skyline—having an epic view became more important to us than the extra space a yard could offer.

Safety was another important factor for us. While Salt Lake is generally a safe city, the idea of living on the ground floor of a house in the middle of an urban area made me uneasy. I grew up in a small town where I could roam freely and later lived in big cities where the security of an apartment building was a given. But the thought of being in a house with street-level access, especially with kids in the picture, felt unsettling.

Beyond safety, what really drew us to condo living was the freedom it offered. Instead of spending weekends on lawn maintenance, we could focus on the things that bring us joy—hiking, traveling, skiing, golfing, and more. Less upkeep meant more time for the activities we love, and the freedom it afforded both of us was too appealing to pass up. The idea of having more time to explore, be spontaneous, and truly enjoy the outdoors without the burden of home maintenance also eased some of my anxiety around buying a home. It felt like a shift toward living life on our own terms.

Of course, condos come with their own set of challenges, and we were fully aware of that going in. For one, HOA fees can be steep, and you have little control over them—especially if something unexpected, like an elevator repair, arises. Then there’s the issue of reserve funds, which are one-time payments for large building projects. On top of that, interest rates are typically higher for condos because banks consider them riskier loans compared to single-family homes. Securing a condo loan also requires more paperwork, making the process more complicated. We had to carefully weigh all these factors.

After months of conversations, touring countless homes, and weighing the pros and cons of each option, we came to the conclusion that a condo was still the perfect fit for us. It offered everything that mattered most: breathtaking mountain and city views, safety, a balcony for evening sunsets, and—perhaps the best part—no yard work or shoveling snow.

In hindsight, the simplicity and flexibility of our decision turned out to be exactly what we needed. While it might not be the typical choice for people our age living in Salt Lake, it was the perfect choice for us, which is just a reminder to always listen to your gut and do what’s right for you.

Finding a Place We BOTH Loved

One of the things I appreciate most about my relationship with Greg is how seriously we both take each other’s wants and needs. Even if something doesn’t matter to Greg—like the kitchen—if it’s important to me, it becomes important to us. It’s about respecting each other’s values.

About halfway through our search, we realized we had different ideas of what we wanted in a home. Rather than letting it turn into a conflict (which, okay, it kind of did for a hot minute), we decided to sit down and list our non-negotiables, along with the things we needed to agree on as a couple. For me, that meant outdoor space, an open kitchen for cooking and hosting, and plenty of natural light and windows.

Greg’s priorities were a great location, a short commute to work, covered parking, and ample storage. We also agreed on a price range that felt right and decided we wanted to be in the city, not the suburbs. While we both knew compromise would be necessary, we were determined not to settle.

But, as often happens, things got tricky. We actually put an offer in on a place that Greg loved, but it didn’t feel right to me. It was a great price, in a great location, and checked off most of the things on our lists. But it had minimal natural light, and the kitchen was a galley-style, separated from the rest of the house. Even though it didn’t meet all my ideal criteria, we decided to move forward with an offer. Unfortunately (or fortunately), things got complicated during the process. Due to HOA policies, we couldn’t secure financing, and ultimately, we had to pull out.

Looking back, that experience taught me a powerful lesson: never settle when it comes to something this significant, and always trust your gut. While we didn’t get that first place, the entire process was still invaluable. It gave us firsthand insight into the complexities of making an offer, navigating financing and loans, and handling all the necessary paperwork. But beyond the logistics, it helped us refine our understanding of what we truly wanted in a home, what we were willing to compromise on, and how to handle the emotions that come with such a big, life-changing decision.

By the time we found the right place, we were far more confident in our decision-making. Looking back, I’m actually grateful for that first experience. It gave us the clarity to know what to avoid and helped us move forward with a clearer vision. Ultimately, we found a place that checked off everything on both of our lists and felt like the right fit for our lives.

Now On to the Juicy Stuff—Money Talks

Buying a home as a couple is as much about understanding each other's financial comfort zones as it is about the numbers themselves. For Greg and me, it was crucial to have candid conversations about what we could realistically afford, both now and in the future. We knew being transparent from the beginning would set us up for success and avoid any surprises down the road.

As I mentioned earlier, I had just returned to work after being unemployed for over a year, and my salary was about $50K lower than Greg’s. When we first met, the roles were reversed—Greg wasn’t investing in the stock market, and I was earning $70K more than him. Fast forward two years, and our financial situations had flipped. I had stopped putting money into the market, and my salary and savings were significantly lower. This shift was important because, as a couple, your financial circumstances will evolve, and staying open and honest about where each of you stands is crucial.

Realistically, Greg had more available for the down payment, which was tough for me to come to terms with. I didn’t want to hold us back from buying our dream home, but I also needed to be mindful of what I felt comfortable spending. Beyond the down payment, we had to consider the monthly mortgage payments, property taxes, HOA fees, and other ongoing costs—everything that would affect our monthly budget and long-term financial stability. Taking all of this into account, we agreed on a condo in the $450K to $550K range. Greg would contribute 60% of the down payment, and I would contribute 40%. In return, Greg would own 60% of the condo, and I would own 40%, while we’d split rent 50/50.

This decision was tough for me because I’ve always been firm about splitting everything equally. Honestly, it was probably harder for me to accept Greg contributing more than it was for him and it took a lot of self-reflection on my end. Since we’re not married, we also needed to discuss how we’d handle things if we ever broke up, which felt a bit like a prenup. While it may not sound romantic, we knew that, as a shared financial asset, it was important to clarify everything upfront. We agreed that if we did part ways, Greg would pay me out for my 40% share over one to two years. If we stayed together long-term, it wouldn’t matter who contributed what, because the home would be ours.

Navigating this wasn’t easy. Not only did we need to be clear about what we could afford, but I also had to reconcile owning less than Greg, and we had to talk openly about what would happen if things didn’t work out. These were extremely tough conversations, but through months of vulnerability, they strengthened our relationship and gave us the confidence to move forward.

Loan Financing

Loan financing is often one of the trickiest aspects of buying a home, and for us, it worked out a bit differently than we expected. Even though we were buying the home together, I ended up being the only one on the loan. This was possible because I qualified for a Home Possible Loan based on my current salary—a program designed to help low-to-moderate-income buyers secure better mortgage terms. The major advantage of this program was that it allowed me to lock in a much lower interest rate than we would have received if we applied together. It's still hard to believe how it all came together, but it made homeownership much more accessible and affordable for us.

As I mentioned earlier, condo interest rates are generally much higher than those for single-family homes. However, thanks to the Home Possible Loan, we were able to secure a lower mortgage rate. We worked with Rocket Mortgage (big shoutout to Josh Miller, who I highly recommend—he was the one who told me I qualified for this loan program and went above and beyond throughout the process). Because of my qualification, Rocket Mortgage offered us $5,000 in credits, which we applied toward a “3-1 rate buydown.” This allowed us to lock in a 3.99% interest rate for the first year, 4.99% for the second year, and 5.99% for the third year. A 3-1 rate buydown helps ease the financial burden early on by offering a lower interest rate for the first two years. Considering that condo rates right now are around 7%, securing a rate like this felt like a major win, especially in our first couple of years of home ownership.

And as if that wasn’t enough, we also negotiated $10,000 in closing costs and $11,000 in agent fees be covered by the seller. We worked with the most incredible agent, Jackie Weig from Redfin, who we can’t recommend enough for anyone looking to buy in the Salt Lake area.Jackie was there for us every step of the way, working closely with the HOA to ensure we had all the information we needed and guiding us through every detail of the process. Her expertise and dedication made all the difference, and it truly felt like the universe was on our side.

While the financial conversations were tough at times, they brought us so much peace of mind. Talking through everything—what we could afford, who would handle what, and how we’d protect ourselves if things didn’t go as planned—gave us both clarity and confidence. In the end, those difficult discussions were what allowed me to move forward with being the only one on the loan, knowing that if anything were to happen, Greg would be there to take over. I was happy that, even though my salary was lower at this point in my life, it still allowed us to secure a lower interest rate, which ended up being a huge benefit for us.

The End!

Now that we’re settled in, it still feels a little surreal. It’s hard to believe this place is truly ours, but little by little, it’s starting to feel more like home. Given the significant down payment and moving costs, we’ve decided to take our time making it truly ours. We’re pacing ourselves, focusing on rebuilding our savings and investment accounts, and being intentional about how we approach the spaces we’re creating.

The homebuying journey definitely wasn’t without its challenges, but working through the tough decisions—especially the financial ones—has made this all the more rewarding. It’s been a process of being patient, staying aligned with our goals, and constantly communicating with each other to ensure we were both on the same page.

I know the homebuying process can feel overwhelming, so I hope sharing our experience has been helpful. Remember, it’s not about following the conventional path or doing what others think you should do—it’s about making the choice that feels right for you. If you’re navigating a similar decision or just want to talk it through, I’m here to chat and support you however I can!